Twice this week I’ve had conversations with women who find themselves at a crossroads. It’s the crossroads to long-term change. It’s a frightening place to be.
To the left is everything you know, comfort, habit, status quo, the norm, the place you’ve known for what could be your whole life, failures, the past.
To the right is belief, discomfort, truth, health, happiness, knowledge, pressure, fear of the unknown, trials, failures (yes you have failures on both roads), wisdom, desire, change, gratitude.
I know this crossroads all too well. In the spring and summer of 2010 I stood at the very same crossroads. I had just won the Body-for-Life challenge which had been a goal for 9 years. Everyone thought I had it all figured out. What people around me didn’t know, was what was happening on the inside. Even my best friends had no idea.
I was terrified. Afraid I’d back slide back to the 328# person I used to be. I was terrified I would fail again. I was terrified that I was a fake. I was afraid I didn’t believe in myself as much as others believed in me. I was afraid of the future.
Looking back on that crossroads now it seems silly. But at that time the fear was very real, very much a part of my daily life.
In order to overcome that fear, I had to put some daily habits in place. Below are the most important ones listed in the order of importance for me.
- No Negative Self-Talk. EVER
- Write down 3 things I’m grateful for daily
- Write down 3 positive affirmations about my body daily
- Get the fear out of your head
These things may look trivial to some, but to a person who doesn’t believe in themselves, I believe these things are a game changer. Let me elaborate.
- No Negative Self-Talk. EVER
Negative self-talk is the single most detrimental habit a person can develop. Negative self-talk comes up when you look in the mirror, when you are handling your personal finances, when you go to work, when you parent your children, in your marriage. It’s everywhere. SHUT. IT. DOWN. You are worthy of greatness, no-one, not even yourself should tell you otherwise.
- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for
Gratitude helps you realize in the big scheme of things you’ve got it really good. Be grateful you’re healthy and not fighting for your life. Be grateful you have a roof over your head. If you are reading this, be grateful for the very device allowing you to see this, even if it’s a loaner. Be grateful for the simplest things in your life. Once you remove your “woe is me” tunnel vision, you get to fully see what you have to be grateful for.
- Write down 3 positive affirmations about my body daily
I don’t mean the same things every day. Each day find 3 things you love about your body. They may or may not have a thing to do with your physical appearance. I love my eyes because they allow me to see things. I love my strong and powerful legs that allow me to move heavy things. I love my ears because they allow me to hear beautiful music.
- Get the fear out of your head
If you are afraid of something talk about it with a trusted friend, a person who’s walked this path before you, or if nothing else, write your fear down in a journal. What I found over time was the fear was much, much greater in my head than it ever was out in the open. I’ve written letters to people and then burned them (very healing). I have sobbed on my friend’s shoulder when faced with the realization I wasn’t going to reach a goal I set. Getting your fear of failure out of you mind clears the space so that it can be filled to the brim with positive and grateful thinking.
All of the above may seem trivial, but if you are at the crossroads of significant weight loss, throw these habits in to play and see if you don’t find some peace from the constant fear of back-sliding.





