Insecurity | garagegym107

Posts Tagged ‘Insecurity

Jan

Coaching…Who Needs It?

As I work to better myself along my path as a trainer, I often ask myself “who needs coaching?”. I firmly believe that everyone could use coaching.

Where am I going with this? Further down my own path to become a great coach. After struggling to reach a personal goal that I set for myself two years ago, I’ve decided to get some coaching. The better my coaching, the better coach I will become.

I began studying for the Precision Nutrition Certification course 5 chapters ago. As I’ve gone through the information I’ve had that nagging notion that I could use some coaching.

This past Monday I decided to embark upon a path of personal discovery by following Precision Nutrition’s Lean Eating Program. Dr. Berardi is well-known in the field of nutrition. I trust that with personal growth I can reach the goal I initially set.

The story starts here. When Monday morning came, I had this awful discomfort. That urge to duck and cover. That told me clearly that I’ve chosen to do exactly what I need to do for ME.

There will be folks out there who know me who will think I’ve lost my ever-loving mind. Well, perhaps maybe just maybe I will find the remainder of what has kept me from that long desired goal. But even better, once I conquer this challenge I will be even more equipped to help others reach their goals.

This process is quite humbling. Stats and measurements have been taken. Before photo’s are never flattering because as they are being taken I am acknowledging that they are before another big personal change. With change comes insecurity, with insecurity comes courage and growth. I’ve got this.

Whatever lingering doubt I have will now be banished. I am not finished yet. I will update you guys periodically about my progress as I firmly believe that accountability and consistency above all else are key to successful change.

The journey of getting comfortable with uncomfortable has begun again.

Jan

The Power of Food

By garagegym107 2 Comments

This post is dedicated to those who struggle with emotional/stress/OMG it is just so good food issues.

I was born and raised in what is now known as “the deep south”. I’m not sure when we went from being the south to the deep south, but whatever.

In the south everything is celebrated with food. Birthday’s, weddings, deaths and everything in between. It’s just courtesy. We want folks to feel the love and feeding them has always been the best way to do that.

I used to live by that same thought process. Food fixed or healed everything. That is so not true so banish that thought from your excuse list.

For some people there is an illusion that food has power. BIG power. They can’t have a small portion, piece or serving. They end up plowing through multiple servings before they realize what they’ve done.

This is a perfect example of giving food power. Notice I said giving the food power.

Food is simply food. It is there for the nourishment of our bodies. It is not there to defeat us, we do that on our own.

Some how we decide we are not worthy of greatness so we in turn, give over the power of our greatness to food instead.

There is absolutely no food that we can put in our mouth that will fix a broken heart, a broken relationship or broken self-esteem.

How do you break the cycle of giving your greatness over to food?

First there must be the acknowledgement that the fork doesn’t fly in to your mouth without your own assistance.

Secondly, when you start randomly grabbing this or that to eat mindlessly, it is usually because you want to become numb. You give the food the power to make you forget, even if but for a very brief moment.

Phhhfffttt…that never works. Food won’t fix anything, in fact it will likely make it worse. That vicious cycle of eat bad, feel bad so I’ll eat more bad is a very tedious cycle to break. That being said GET TEDIOUS right back with it.

You will find things that hold you back are often so much greater when you leave them stuck in your head. Get them out of there. Write them down and burn them if you don’t want anyone else to know. Better yet, hold on to that notebook because one day you’ll have the ability to reach another person who may be struggling with what you have already overcome.

Each time you stop yourself from reaching for food to solve your problems, the more empowered you will become.

YES, you may have a set-back or twenty set-backs; just keep asking yourself the hard, painful questions and the result will start showing.

The only power food has is the power that you give it.

Nov

No One Walks In Your Shoes

By garagegym107 21 Comments

Friday Fun! Now dance like a Boss!

Yesterday I found myself rather overcome with emotion the minute I set foot in Garagegym107. There is powerful MOJO associated with this place. I don’t question things in life that bring me joy and helping others surely does that.

Highlights from this week:

Two people commented on the progress one of the ladies that works out with me on the parking deck at work. Progress being noted by people not working out. Love.

One of the ladies that works out said “I see definition in my legs and I like it”. Small pleasures!

The old man in the gym who now waves at me every morning after I commented to him that I missed him this last few days. Just being noticed that you’ve been missed motivates some.

My friend said to me “treat yourself as good as you do your best friends”.

I got to speak to a group of women about nutrition. Now they realize we all struggle at some point. Realize that your journey is only about you. What’s right for you may not be right for another. Do not criticize their way because it’s not your way. Respect our differences.

Nov

The Fat Chick In My Head

By garagegym107 5 Comments

Categories: Morphing of a Fit Woman
Tags: Body-for-Life, BodyBuilding, change, Clean Eating, Community, exercise, gaining self confidence, Insecurity, Inspiration, mental-health, Motivation, non fiction books, nutrition, Weight Lifting

Today I had a visit from my old friend, the fat chick in my head. The old me. As I stood in the gym during my lunch hour she decided to pay me a visit. She doesn’t come around as often as she used to. As I stood there looking in the mirror, she said to me “I know you can see me” and in all honesty she was right. I could see images of the old me flash in my mind. Times when I wasn’t so comfortable in the gym, times that I wept thinking I would never get the weight off.

The fat chick in my head will always be a part of me, but she will never again be all of me.

The days she shows up in the gym are few and far between. It’s doubt that I might not get where I want to be. It’s a reminder that in order to achieve what I want there must be sacrifice willingly given. It’s a status check above all else.

Perhaps it’s just the fat chick looking for the long-awaited gratitude for looking out for me and keeping me safe all of those years. So thank you for that.

I’ve got it from here, I promise you can trust me now.

Oct

Let’s Do Some Sprints

By garagegym107 2 Comments

Categories: Nutritional Cleanse Experiment
Tags: Body-for-Life, BodyBuilding, change, Clean Eating, Community, CrossFit, exercise, fat loss, fitness, food, gaining self confidence, Goal Setting, goals, Insecurity, Inspiration, Motivation, nutrition, weight loss, Working out, Workout

Want to see a group of people visibly get better before your eyes? Have them run sprints together. Not just a couple of rounds of sprints but instead 6-10 rounds of 100 meter sprints. It’s suckage to say the least. It forces each person to work hard through the pain. It creates personal growth. Ages range from 28-54 and yes, they all ran together.

After you’ve finished the timing for them, have them do the timing for you. Little makes people feel better than to see the trainer suffer the same fate they have just endured.

Nothing makes them feel better than to realize what they’ve accomplished when they finish.

Struggling together creates an unspoken bond. You know as a trainer, deep down inside they are pushing each other to run just a tad faster than if they were running alone.

Lucky for me today, two additional people came up and ran with me. Humbling and motivating that I didn’t have to run by myself, instead I GOT TO run with them.

Healthy competition is great as long as you are grounded in improving yourself more than anything. I don’t believe that every workout has to be a competition. Some would say that makes me soft, I disagree. I believe that its me vs. me. Not me vs. you.

If I focus all of my efforts on beating someone else, the person I’m not watching is going to pass me.

You vs. you, always.

Oct

Issues, We All Have Them

By garagegym107 6 Comments

I was chatting with a friend who is struggling this morning. As we chatted, I was thrown back in time to that exact point in my journey.

I don’t know where these things come from, they just seem to come from deep inside somewhere teaching me again, that I have learned some lessons over this journey of mine.

“We all have issues. My issues are not smaller than yours. I’ve learned not to use them as an excuse to crap on my goals” ~Garagegym107

There is so much meat in that statement, I immediately had to type it out and claim it.

For years I allowed my issues to be my excuse for chronically sabotaging my fitness efforts with poor quality food. It took me quite some time to figure out that when I ate poorly, I in turn felt even more poorly and my issues seemed ginormous (yes, I know that’s not really a word).

It happens in the lives of most women who struggle with dealing with emotional eating. You are not alone.

Sooner or later, you must confront your fears in order to move past these issues. It’s not about willpower so much as it is about willingness to change and will to let go.

Our issues can stay buried deep inside and something silly can pull one of them back to the limelight.

In example, I’ve written about the online trainer that literally told me I needed to rethink my goals regarding physique training. In that moment that little liar in my head came screaming forward saying “see I told you so”.

I could have let both the negative self-talking voice and the online trainer derail me completely. The old me would have allowed just that.

The stronger, wiser and much more at peace, and confident me simply said “watch this”. My goals are set, my countdown app on my phone is set and I’ve been busy doing.

Sure, I have issues, we all do. Step back and think things through. If you are reaching for food, you are still allowing those issues to rule your roost.

Oct

Never Going To Steal My Joy

By garagegym107 22 Comments

Over the past month I have seen numerous postings of one of my best friends before and after photos. Ironically, these photos are being taken by people attempting to claim her success as being a part of whatever fitness and training quick fix they are pushing.

What’s been interesting about the whole thing to both of us is reading all of the comments associated with her transformation. Especially the nay-sayers. One woman claimed to be “a trainer with 30 years experience” she didn’t believe the photos were real.

In my humble opinion, I’d run from that trainer. If she doesn’t believe this type of transformation is possible then you sure don’t want to pay her to convince you that it is not possible.

That’s why I love my friend and I love my life. We live our transformations every single day of our lives. We don’t have to go around using other people’s pictures to build ourselves up. Instead we use our own photos to build others up.

You see, no-one can ever steal our joy, we built it, we earned it, it’s ours to share.

We can walk the walk not just talk the talk. Let me just say this, it hasn’t been a cake walk. It’s much easier now than it has ever been before for both of us. But were it not for the road we’ve traveled, I would not be writing this blog.

People want change but people want change for nothing.

For all the ladies in the house…grab a tissue because this is a good one!

Let me introduce you to my friend Michelle T. . She is real, she is authentic and she is my mentor.

She has listened to me sob over realizing that a goal I set wasn’t going to happen. She never said I wouldn’t, just said maybe now isn’t the right time.

She has stood by me and patiently watched me impatiently struggle with being too strict with food and over training myself in to the ground all the while knowing that in my own time, I would come out on the other side.

You see, here is the thing about all of that weight-loss. Everyone is different. With personal patience, self-awareness and a personal belief that never waivers, long-term successful weight-loss can happen.

Each one reach one…Thank you Michelle for paying it forward!

YES this picture is real! Yes I have seen her in a two piece! YES IT CAN BE DONE!

Sep

Ignorance is Bliss

By garagegym107 1 Comment

Most people really truly don’t want to acknowledge the truth about fitness and weight loss. If they hide behind the veil of ignorance then they don’t have to hold themselves accountable. I did that, for a couple of years, in fact. I managed to pack on an additional 168# in two years. Yes, that’s correct, in only two years I went from a relatively healthy size 10 woman to a grossly unhealthy size 22. That’s an average weight gain of 1.61 pounds PER WEEK.

Talk about a sad sack. But ignorance was bliss. No one really ever said anything about the weight as it progressively increased.

I could have stopped it, I could have changed the course of my life. But instead I used every excuse I could dig up, meds were making me fat, job related stress was making me fat, my obnoxiously nasty divorce was making me fat. But you know what?

I was making me fat. I was the one stopping by the fast food joints picking up a bag full of whatever daily special was going on at whichever place was super-sizing everything.

The beautiful thing in my story is that I truly believe that people can change and those changes can stick, like glue.

I know personally many people who have successfully changed. Taking themselves from being slightly overweight, or emotional eaters, to those like me, who were obese.

They’ve taken responsibility for educating themselves. They’ve put their own ego’s and pride aside to make these changes. They’ve humbled themselves to the point of learning and humbled themselves to the point of DOING.

The most important thing that we’ve all learned is that in this life is: it’s not always about me.

Reach out and do something nice for another person. No need to tell anyone what you did, just do it.

Each one, reach one.

Sep

The Past

By garagegym107 Leave a Comment

Every now and again I’m delightfully gifted with the opportunity to share my story and a few things I’ve learned to a live audience.

I derive so much joy from having these opportunities. Talking to others reminds me of various places I’ve been along my journey. It also reminds me that I’m still on my own journey.

This past weekend I was reminded of one aspect of my journey. The mind has a very powerful ability to replay old conversations years after the occurence.

That being said, I believe that we are in control of rewinding and re-recording over those powerful negative messages with positive new ones.

For example, I started running (well, what would be barely considered jogging to a runner) when I weighed just shy of 250#. I remember the negative thoughts going through my mind step after step, “you’re too fat to do this, you are too slow to be running, you can quit this now”. Over and over I would allow my negative thoughts to rule. It took me years to clear the cobwebs enough to realize that I was, simply put, defeating my own purpose.

Once I began to understand that nothing has the power to impact me, unless I give it the power did I realize great positive change from the inside.

I began changing my mantra to “you are strong and you are capable”, “you are strong and you are capable”. Over and over, year after year, I’ve repeated those words many, many times.

We truly are what we think we are so it is extremely important to make sure that we use “no negative self-talk, EVER”.

I have that saying written in chalk in the middle of the chalk board in Garagegym 107. My clients see it. It’s a constant reminder of the way I live. I see it every time I start my day. I believe it.

Empower yourself to make changes to negative experiences from your past.

Our past contributes to who we are, but our past doesn’t dictate who we become.

The chalk board project. The humble beginnings of GG107.

Aug

Emotional Eating

By garagegym107 Leave a Comment

Quite a few people know what emotional eating is. Some folks think it is conjured up and an excuse.

I found this definition on the interwebz but it’s a bit harsh for my liking.

“Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by an obsessive/compulsive relationship to food.”

You see in the South we celebrate every occasion with food and therefore tend to connect every type of emotion under the sun with food. EVERYTHING.

Ironically I married a man who is NOT emotionally attached to food. I’ve learned a lot from him.

Food either tastes good to him, or it’s meh… He never eats because he’s stressed or anything like that. In fact I at times I put food in front of him as a reminder to eat.

It’s actually quite cool as an emotional eater to witness in reality that non-emotional eating really exists. It has helped me come to the following conclusion on handling food.

-When you look at food you shouldn’t be trying to decide if it will make you feel better or worse. You should only be thinking “it’s time for me to fuel my body with the best possible option, is that what this particular food will do?”

Once I accepted the responsibility that I managed food and it didn’t manage me, things really begin to change.

When you are caught up in the cycle of eat bad, feel bad so eat more bad and feel worse, it is totally up to you to break that mental cycle. It has nothing to do with the food.

You see when I first started losing weight, I had weight loss momentum on my side. I ate clean 6 days a week, had a free day and I worked out 6 days a week and rested one. The weight literally started falling off. 125# in the first year.

But the real changes for me didn’t start happening until I started unpacking my baggage chest. For 8 years I went up 20 pounds and down 20 pounds. Constantly yo-yo dieting and never really putting my finger on what the issue was.

One day I stood in my kitchen with my hand literally in the cookie jar, with my cup of milk about to commence in the Oreo dunking party when I realized that I was defeating my very own purpose.

At that moment came the first epiphany. That ah-ha moment when I cracked open the proverbial baggage trunk for the first time. I was flooded with guilt and shame and all sorts of emotion from the shoe boxes within that chest.

At that moment however, true healing began.

One shoe box of baggage at a time was revealed, acknowledged, ultimately forgiven and then released into that unknown space of healing.

I wrote letters to people who had wronged me, vented all of my frustrations, then burned them. Somehow this process allowed for me to let go of bitterness and hurt I was holding on to.

I wrote letters of apology and requested forgiveness and actually mailed those.

Once I had dealt with the process of letting go, surprisingly the emotional eating episodes slowed down and now are almost completely non-existent.

Never give up on yourself. Learn to love and appreciate the wonderful things you are capable of and forgive yourself for the seemingly stupid mistakes you’ve made and move on.

Life is so much better with a trunk filled with peace.

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