Posts Tagged ‘Insecurity



30
Jul
13

Reach Just One

A little over a year ago I started working out with a woman at work, outside on the parking deck.  She started coming out and working out, never questioning anything she was asked to do, only trusting in the training and the trainer.  Over time another person would ask to join, then another, then another.

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My friend has since left the company and her family has moved back to her home state.  Today I am so vividly reminded of her joy and zest for life, her laughter ringing through the air as she pushed through the sometimes very difficult workouts.  People often breeze through our lives, not to stay indefinitely, but to make an impact in a very short period of time.

I continue to teach these classes on the parking deck and each week we seem to have another person join.  It’s so inspiring to me to have a new person slip up the stairs and out in the the open sunshine.  Some days are much harder than others, some days they question why they do what they do but then they always come back for more.

Each one reaches one.  I live by that statement.  I thank my friend Michelle Treichel for sharing that with me, it was a real sticker.

I love working out, love having changed my own life.  I love continuing to change it through fitness and proper nutrition.   All that being said, there is one thing that takes the cake and that is helping others.  It doesn’t matter the shape or size or age or whateva… they are welcome in my little world.

They inspire me.  They bring me joy.  They remind me of being better.  They make me better.

Here’s to the parking deck crew…many, many thanks to you all!  We miss you Daphne!!

Deck Group 4 07-30-13

24
Jun
13

More Morphing of a Fit Woman

As I read through a few friends blogs this weekend I realized that I could be doing some things a tad bit or even a whole LOT better.

In example over at 43 Fitness she whips out her workout log and shows all of her readers the key points and highlights that she relies on that notebook to remind her of.  I love it.

I have several workout books/logs, but over the past 6 months or so I’ve gotten out of the habit of doing it daily and that has got to change.   It doesn’t matter what the reason is behind not keeping up with it, all that matters is that needs to change.  Today.

Keeping a journal of both food and workouts is the ONLY way a coach or trainer or faithful friends can help you figure out why you’ve hit a plateau or whether you are making excuses.  Accountability.

I am weak.  I need accountability.  I admit it. 

Underneath it all I am as normal as they come.  I want to cheat on my food and so long as no one saw me eat that extra handful of nuts, it doesn’t matter right?  Uh huh.

Oh last week I cleaned 95# 15 times but this week I’m just too tired to clean 85# 10 times.  Uh huh.

As long as it is not written down, it doesn’t matter, right?  Uh huh.

See the pattern?

While watching the video 43 Fitness did, I remembered a time way back when.  Yes, a long time ago.  I was keeping my very first food journal.   I remember making it through the first week with everything nice and tidy.   During the second week things started to change.  One day I ate 4 chocolate covered Oreo cookies.  In my mind they are a whole lot better than they are in my mouth these days.  Now they just taste overly processed.   I digress…

The day I sat with that food journal getting ready to write down those cookies, all sorts of feelings cascaded through my mind.  Shame and guilt were in the front row.  Followed by honesty.  Honesty said “write it down and be uncomfortable with it”.  Shame and guilt applauded the uncomfortable part.

That was the turning point for me with keeping a food journal.  Most of the time I no longer need it.  Seriously, most of the time I’m spot on with both meal planning and portions.  When it is time to set a new goal, it is time to journal.

In reality, I do believe that is just what my fitness goals need to come to fruition.

A journal should be filled with all of the important details of your workouts and your nutrition.  If you lift you want to keep up with the lifting progressions.  Try new things that challenge your body.  Sometimes they don’t work out for you.  If you journal it, you won’t likely make the same mistake twice.

When keeping a food journal, you must have integrity.  I promise you, strong character is built when no one else is watching.  Because the only person you are cheating is yourself.

WRITE IT DOWN.  You may be surprised at patterns that develop.  Patterns that can help you understand whether you sabotage yourself.   Patterns that help you understand if you are a stress eater.   WRITE IT DOWN.  Over time you’ll get stronger because you won’t eat it because you don’t want to WRITE IT DOWN.

I talked to the spousal unit last night and told him it was time for more serious goal setting and record keeping.  He is the best “are you SURE you want to eat that” person on the planet.  Especially when he knows I have a goal set.

As with most everything, I intend to share the new journal process with you all.  Hopefully I can start making a few videos along the way.

Journals

 

 

 

 

 

 

21
Jun
13

Be A Fighter

I read a lot of blogs, a lot of FaceBook posts, and a lot of email asking questions and for help in making lasting change.   I’m honored and humbled by every email I receive because I’m just an ordinary person who has become a fighter.

What does that mean exactly?  It means I have committed to myself everyday to fight for the fitness I want.  It means I refuse to settle for status quo. It means even when I’m not spot on, I press on consistently.  Getting knocked down and getting back up again to go at it another day.  Preventing the decline, slowly creating a fit body and mind for myself.

I don’t have all of the answers, even for myself, but I work hard to educate myself on topics that will assist in my efforts to take things on to the next chapter in my journey.

Often we encounter set-backs, at times it is even possible to be indirectly set-back by another person’s decision.  What do you do?  Become a fighter.  Stay the course, keep training, keep doing what you can with what you have.  Stay true to you.

A little music motivation courtesy of Gym Class Hero’s.

 

19
May
13

Look Around You

I have been on my fitness journey for 11 years and 5 months, but who’s counting.  I’d have to say the one thing that still amazes me is how often I continue to choose to “raise the bar” both in mindset and in physical training.

It is as if the few moments after I become comfortable with a skill I’ve finally mastered, it is suddenly time to move on to the next task at hand.  I’m sure some of my friends think I should slow down and try to break this sense of driven I have, but for me, it is not that simple.

For me it is life.  My life.  I’ve fought my way back from a place where hundreds of thousands of people resign themselves to live in for the rest of their days.  More than likely not because they WANT to stay there, but instead, they decide it is too hard a battle to fight to leave that place.  Trust me, I know all too well how tough that battle is.

Here lately I’ve found myself noticing more and more how unhealthy folks are getting.  Perhaps that feeds my drive.

I’m not getting any younger.  But through my fitness bar raising I’m able to prevent the decline for another day or two.

Seems rather like a hamster in a wheel doesn’t it?

Truth of the matter is, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Look around you.  Really look.  I’m in the minority, the doer’s.  The get up and give the aging process a swift kick in the arse people.

Also known at work as the woman with the muscles.  The hardass.  The one who consistently trains day in and day out.  Those who know me, absolutely know that I’m harmless, yet one of the best trainers they’ll find.  I care.  I want others to feel the success that I’ve had and continue to strive for. Nothing brings me more joy than watching someone else achieve a goal they set for themselves.

I thank God everyday that I am a healthy, fit person.  In that thanks, I also remind myself that it is truly a blessing to be physically able to pursue the goals that I have set for myself.  There are just too many others out there who are not able too.  So if you are able to and chose not to…shame on you.  Use what you have and make a better life for yourself.  Don’t be status-quo.

Just look around you.

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29
Apr
13

Things Are a Little Dusty

Yes indeed things got a little dusty here in the land of blogging.  High stress day jobs and long hours tend to want to wreak havoc on my whole life, but I won’t let it.

Needless to say, when things blow up all around me, all I can do is focus on what I can do in the moment.  Staying in the moment these past several weeks has literally saved my MOJO and my sanity.

What I mean by staying in the moment is literally to stop worrying about what will be happening 2-3 hours or even 6-8 hours from now, much less, weeks and months.  I cannot change a single thing in the future as I have no crystal ball or time machine.

My day job hours have significantly increased upwards to 11-12 hour days.  When you add the coaching I do at our CrossFit Box, that leaves a shortness in my own training time.  Which leads to grouchy butt syndrome on my part.

I caught myself whining a little about it.   Then I reminded myself that I needed to put my big girl panties on and deal with things just as they are.  What if I get to continue to come in to work at 7:15 indefinitely…?  Well get up a little earlier.  So be it.

That one thought triggered several more reminders of what I can do to help myself remain consistent in all things I love when things get harried.

Meal prep and planning.  I spent three hours on Sunday taking away all excuses for not eating enough and well enough this week.  Everything is nicely packed in throw away Ziploc Freezer Bags so no dishes to whine about washing.

Workouts are shifted from AM five days a week to 2 AM workouts and 3 lunch time workouts one rest day and a new weekend workout.  No excuses.

Did these decisions come about easily?  Well no, of course not.  I spent three weeks trying to squeeze things in until I wanted to explode from being in a rushed frenzy before realizing that it was time to settle down and see things for what they are.

Changing.

Yes, the one constant will always be change.  Why on earth I fight it so much is beyond me.  My family would say stubbornness and I would agree.

Change is inevitable, but how we deal with it makes or breaks us.  When my poor spousal unit started getting tewky with me, I realized I have been riding around on my pretty little broom just a bit too often.

When you find change coming in a very fast and unexpected fashion, find a quiet place to reflect, even if it’s only for 15 minutes.  Write down what is really important to you and figure out how you will make change work instead of using change as an excuse to fail.

change

 

 

 

01
Apr
13

In Pursuit of Dreams

As I mentioned in my previous blog I am in the middle of the CrossFit Open Sectionals competition.  It’s a very exciting time for me and the athletes of our CrossFit box.  I’ve watched people evolve over the course of this past month, achieving things one month ago, they had no idea they could really accomplish.  Both strong and beautiful inside out, I am honored to have their permission to present them to you.

These three women have inspired me beyond measure, right along with their own friends and family members.

Thanks to CrossFit Madison for the photos.

Anna Lombard:  Anna decided her first go around at the WOD wasn’t her best.  She came back in on Saturday and showed everyone, including herself exactly what she is capable of.

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Artesha Bishop:  Artesha also decide her first go around at the WOD wasn’t her best.  She came back in on Saturday and found she was capable of more.  Not settling for less than her absolute best, she gave is one final go and exceeded her own expectations.

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Sydney Blackmon:  I have watched this young lady absolutely blossom through her CrossFit experiences.  On Saturday she successfully cleaned & jerked the prescribed load of 95# multiple times.  Big deal right?  Well that 95# is 5# less than her own body weight.  The most exciting part is that she is 17 years old.

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27
Mar
13

More Evolving

The month of March has been absolutely crazy in terms of how many balls can be juggled.  New boss for the day job,  medical age related test (clean results), full on family vacation, and the CrossFit Open sectional with two weeks remaining.  All of these things combined haven’t left much time for writing.

Finally today I have a bit of a breather.

The title of this blog is most fitting for my thoughts this week.

When I stop long enough to think back to the early months of my journey I recognize the pattern of losses as more linear.  Here lately and over the past couple of years progress looks more like the lines on an EKG.  Progress for me isn’t in terms of weight losses as much as it is about gains, strength gains, confidence gains, and awareness gains.

There are months that I see no gains at all in strength, but a conversation with someone else will result in confidence gains, that person may have seen something I accomplished that I took for granted and the reminder is priceless.  Gains come in every form and fashion.  Often times I will fail on a strength lift.  What I forget to acknowledge was that I overcame a certain level of fear to attempt the action in the first place.

Awareness gains usually come when I’ve been in a social setting of some kind or when I’ve made some poor nutritional choices that impact an outcome.  Awareness gains are not necessarily good or bad, they just are what they are.  That always means I’m more in tune with an action or reaction.

Sounds like a bunch of babble when I go back and read it but the bottom line message is that progress comes through consistent action.  Both positive and negative.  Keep and open mind, keep moving your body, keep nourishing your body with good clean food, and allow your soul some time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished and what you fear.

black white gray

 

 

21
Feb
13

Have I Been A Slacker?

I realized when I sat down to write this blog I’ve begun to allow too much time to pass between blogs.  I’ve got way too much to talk about to not sit down and make it happen.

Anyway, one might wonder if I’ve been slacking.  Fat chance on that.  I work a full-time professional day job and then I step out with my favorite evening job, personal training.

I long to find a way to support myself with my first love.  Eventually I’ll get there, just not while I have a kid in college.

So, enough of my ramblings.  Have I mentioned lately how much I adore working out?  I really do.  Most people cringe at getting up at 4:30am to be at the gym around 5.  Not me.  I started my days off like that long before I ever allowed the fat chick to rule my world.

Back in those days I wasn’t over weight, really not even pleasantly plump.  After the birth of my 3rd son, I decided that working out at 5:00am allowed me to work out guilt free.  Everyone was still sleeping and I didn’t feel like I was taking away from the older boys baseball, etc.

Fast forward through the trauma of divorce and massive unhealthy weight gain, through the amazing and a times heartbreaking journey of weight loss and the release of  emotional baggage I find myself now older, wiser and still loving the 5:00am workouts.

The key in all of that chatter is find what works for you and your family.  It may not be the ideal time, but if this is really important to you, you’ll do it whenever you can make it happen.

I’ve discovered lately that having a fit mind is just as important, perhaps even more important than a fit body.

Someone in your life causing drama?  That doesn’t make it your drama.   Someone having a bad day?  That doesn’t make it your bad day.  Your friend decided to make an excuse not to go to the gym this morning?  That’s not your excuse.

My message and one of my own personal favorite lessons has always been “Just because someone else is having an issue, that doesn’t make it my issue”.  I’ve learned over the last 20 years that if you take it, someone will keep giving it to you to carry for them.

Put on mental rubber suit and let the excuses of others roll off like rain on a freshly waxed car.  Take care of yourself and six months from now your drama filled, excuse making friend will be asking YOU how you did it!

You’ve got enough to handle keeping yourself fit and fabulous.

Change or Not

 

 

 

 

 

05
Feb
13

Be Beautiful

For ALL of the beautiful ladies in my life, I write this blog.  You know who you are, you are near and far.  The ones who, at the drop of a hat send a kind word or do a kind deed.  You are the ones that simply place a heart on my FB page.  You are the ones who send a card for no other reason than you want to make someone smile.

With all of the noise surrounding the perfection of  women, be it in the fitness industry, the beauty industry, the clothing industry, remember that we are each in our own way simply beautiful.

Imagine a world with no commercials or billboards bombarding you with thoughts of what you should be, how you should look, or telling you what material thing you should have before you consider yourself beautiful.

Get up tomorrow and let it all fade to black.  Find the beauty you were born with, IT IS IN YOU, I know, I’ve seen it with my own eyes and felt it with my own heart.   Be the beautiful women that you are!

Please take 3 minutes and 20 seconds and watch this video.   A huge shout out to Karen Walrond for posting this on You Tube.  And a huge thanks to my Precision Nutrition coach Jennifer Koslo for sharing this.

Please, please, share this with every beautiful woman that you know!

Beautiful

29
Jan
13

Self Doubt

Choices

 

I’ve had a couple of the most inspiring days here lately, who couldn’t use a little feel good?

Saturday I was helping teach a CrossFit Fundamentals class and we had a woman in the class that is completely new to the concepts of CrossFit.

I believe people pass through our lives for a purpose.  The question is do we as individuals  stop long enough to realize the purpose may not have a single thing to do with “us” as in self.

I meet a lot of people while teaching these classes.  I love it.  I have the chance to share what I love with more people.  Win.

Anyway, back to my story.  As we progressed through the class, it came time to do some pull-up work.  I noticed the woman mentioned above had gone to the ladies room.  After what was plenty of time, she didn’t come back.  I sent one of the other ladies to check on her.  She came back and whispered “she’s a little upset”.   Off I went to the bathroom.

As I walked in the door she was collecting herself.  The first thought that crossed my mind was “man I wish I was that beautiful when I cried”.  Trust me, I am NOT pretty when I cry.

Anyway, after talking to this woman, I realized that she didn’t really even realize why she was upset.   The irony is that I knew EXACTLY what she was feeling.  Change is HARD.  Change is SCARY.  Change takes COURAGE.

In those few moments she was sizing up her own ability to be able to do what she was there to do.   I have been there.  More than once.  Coming in to a new place, to a new program, to new expectations is very intimidating.

I looked her straight in the eyes and said with complete conviction “you CAN do this”!  I told her a bit of my story and allowed her to gather her composure.  We headed back out on to the floor to continue her training.  She stayed, she finished the class.

I wanted her to come back.  I wanted her to believe in herself enough to keep moving forward.  But I knew that I couldn’t make that decision for her.

The next day she sent me a FB message and said “you are the second reason I’m coming back, the first is because I can do this”.

That is why I do what I do.  BE THE CHANGE.