Posts Tagged ‘gaining self confidence



30
Aug
12

Are Anger and Frustration a Catalyst?

Yesterday I had a conversation with an online trainer.  I’m not here to bash this person because there is an off-chance there may be a bit of truth in his message.

His message was that someone with my history, the history of obesity to fitness, isn’t likely a good fit for taking things to the next level of getting leaned out.

It really struck a chord with my insecurity for about an hour.   For that whole hour I had mental tapes from years past replay over in my head.  All of the moments I heard the term “you can’t” “you won’t” “it’s not possible” to lose the weight. 

He never said those exact words, but the words he said were direct enough to make me take that road trip backwards for the hour that I allowed my mind to venture. 

Then I got really miffed.  Miffed like I haven’t been in a decade.  I got miffed because I allowed another human being to create doubt in a space that is off-limits.  A space that I’ve maintained, manicured, furtilized with positivity, grown from a desolate space of nothingness into a positive field of successful DOING.

I know that people are trained in given fields.  They fill themselves with statistics and data.  They become an encyclopedia of their field of study and then they get comfortable spewing that data as one size fits all gospel.

Well, I’m here to tell you that is well and good.  But there are things that none of that data can capture. Those are human spirit, soul and determination.  The odds may be stacked in favor of the data, but there is always the off-chance that the underdog can and will prevail.

I choose to be the underdog.  I choose to be the one that will succeed.  My next level may not be the same as a superstar, but it’s mine for the taking.

I saw this the other day and yes, it came to mind by the time my head hit my pillow last night. 

“Never let anyone tell you that you can’t”

24
Aug
12

Emotional Eating

Quite a few people know what emotional eating is.  Some folks think it is conjured up and an excuse.

I found this definition on the interwebz but it’s a bit harsh for my liking. 

“Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by an obsessive/compulsive relationship to food.”

You see in the South we celebrate every occasion with food and therefore tend to connect every type of emotion under the sun with food.  EVERYTHING.

Ironically I married a man who is NOT emotionally attached to food.  I’ve learned a lot from him. 

Food either tastes good to him, or it’s meh…  He never eats because he’s stressed or anything like that.  In fact I at times I put food in front of him as a reminder to eat.

It’s actually quite cool as an emotional eater to witness in reality that non-emotional eating really exists.  It has helped me come to the following conclusion on handling food.

-When you look at food you shouldn’t be trying to decide if it will make you feel better or worse.  You should only be thinking “it’s time for me to fuel my body with the best possible option, is that what this particular food will do?”

Once I accepted the responsibility that I managed food and it didn’t manage me, things really begin to change.

When you are caught up in the cycle of eat bad, feel bad so eat more bad and feel worse, it is totally up to you to break that mental cycle.  It has nothing to do with the food. 

You see when I first started losing weight, I had weight loss momentum on my side.  I ate clean 6 days a week, had a free day and I worked out 6 days a week and rested one.  The weight literally started falling off.  125# in the first year.

But the real changes for me didn’t start happening until I started unpacking my baggage chest.  For 8 years I went up 20 pounds and down 20 pounds.  Constantly yo-yo dieting and never really putting my finger on what the issue was.

One day I stood in my kitchen with my hand literally in the cookie jar, with my cup of milk about to commence in the Oreo dunking party when I realized that I was defeating my very own purpose. 

At that moment came the first epiphany.  That ah-ha moment when I cracked open the proverbial baggage trunk for the first time.  I was flooded with guilt and shame and all sorts of emotion from the shoe boxes within that chest. 

At that moment however, true healing began.

One shoe box of baggage at a time was revealed, acknowledged, ultimately forgiven and then released into that unknown space of healing.

I wrote letters to people who had wronged me, vented all of my frustrations, then burned them.  Somehow this process allowed for me to let go of bitterness and hurt I was holding on to.

I wrote letters of apology and requested forgiveness and actually mailed those. 

Once I had dealt with the process of letting go, surprisingly the emotional eating episodes slowed down and now are almost completely non-existent.

Never give up on yourself.  Learn to love and appreciate the wonderful things you are capable of and forgive yourself for the seemingly stupid mistakes you’ve made and move on. 

Life is so much better with a trunk filled with peace.

22
Aug
12

When The Obstacle is The Mind

I was having a conversation with a coworker this morning.  This girl has done an amazing job of losing about 40# over the last 4 months.  Ironically, she says to me this morning “I’d be happy if I never lost another pound”.  Maybe. 

Here is the question I ponder though…  why set self-imposed limits? It’s not about losing pounds, it is about losing insecurity and realizing just what you are capable of.  It’s about getting fit.

I’ve been there, I’ve been to the point of saying “I’d be happy if I never lost another pound” but then I found fitness. 

Fitness truly begins when scale watching ends.

Feeling healthy and strong far surpasses what it feels like to diet down to “thin”.  

My message is this, when weight loss begins you will inevitably put self-imposed mental limits on what you can accomplish. 

Mainly because you will fail to believe in all that you are capable of.  Set those thoughts behind and set measurable, obtainable goals. 

It may take you a lot longer than you initially think it will, but let me tell you this…the journey is so much more adventurous than you can imagine when you begin. 

Get out of your own way and get busy doing things you never dreamed you could.  The only obstacle is your mind.  

Who would have ever thought that this:

 

Could transform in to this:

And the beauty of this is that I’m just getting started on learning how to stop letting my mind become the obstacle. 

BELIEVE…

 

 

16
Aug
12

I won’t tell you twice what I can tell you once.

 

Gotcha, life is stressful.  Better yet living is stressful!  From waking up late to no matter how hard times may be in your life.  Now imagine if you can the stresses going on in the world around you?  It’s at this very moment that you realize how stressful living really is.  This is not a doom and gloom message you are reading, there is hope.

Blame it on the ADD baby!  Maybe instead of combating stress, hold on!  Combating?  The word stress alone is stressful …

Damn!  I can’t even read my favorite blog without getting stressed out!

Let me present to you Hardiness!  Hardiness gives you the toughness; it gives you the courage to grow from the stress in your life.  Hardiness begins humbly as a recipe consisting  of:  Commitment, Control and Challenge.  As well as embracing your coping skills and building a solid support network.  A little swagger and attitude help as well.   No, wearing an Affliction-T does not help your hardiness at all!

How will you know when you become hardy?  If you truly are hardy, you express the characteristics and skills above.  Each and everyday no matter what’s stressing you out in life.

Intermission:

Act Two – I Don’t Need a Ride Tonight

Embrace the idea of solving the challenges in your life in an extraordinary way.  As you wrap a snatch grip around the bar do not see the weight as a problem.  Allow extraordinary thoughts to fill your mind and soul.  This is a time to be profound and brilliant, embrace this moment.

The only thing to take away and remember from reading today is that the only true freedom that any of us have in life … Is the right to choose.  Hardiness or Stress?  If you want life to be continually moving forward in a positive fashion.  Full of purpose and passion?  I say … Step up and own every single second and breath of your day!  Become Hardy!

This message brought to you by the fine folks at CultFit.

08
Aug
12

No More Crap Reps

Pull-ups, push-ups.  Give and take.  I’m so stinking close to the perfect pull-up it is not even funny.  What I’ve learned through the process is that I’m about 5# off from getting them both.

I’ve had this terrible habit of worming my push-ups.  I get within 2″ of having my chest to the deck and find myself unable to push out of it.  What does this have to do with pull-ups?  I get my eyeballs at eye level with the bar and then stall, lacking the strength to pull that last 2 inches of my chin over the bar from the dead-hang.  Kipping yes, no problem, but strict pull-ups two inches off. 

Maybe I’m naïve but they must be connected.  They simply must be.

No more crap reps for me.  If I’m worming a push-up I stop.  Even if it means using a harness made out of resistance bands to keep perfect form, I’m doing it.  Crap reps get me further behind.  Instilling in my work bad form & bad habits.  Is it humbling? Absolutely.  Is it necessary? Absolutely.

Letting go of ego enough to recognize your own weaknesses is vital to improvement. 

I tell my friends that want to start CrossFit to focus strictly on the technical part of the movement for the first six months to a year.  No one listens.  We go in and rush more weight on the bar, thinking that some how makes us better.  

Wrong.  

Technique or lack there of will catch up to you.  By then you will have developed bad habits from rushing through the technique to lift heavier.  Then comes the agonizingly slow process of retraining and unlearning.

So I’m a slow learner.  I’m still doing what I need to do to get better.    My mantra has changed to “NO. MORE. CRAP. REPS.”

No matter what the movement is.  Air squats, clean & jerk, snatch, overhead squat, dead lift, push-ups, pull-ups.  No. More. Crap. Reps.

 

06
Aug
12

Sulking Over Silver

I’ve got to rant for just a minute and then I’ll leave it alone.

What are our young daughters and granddaughters and nieces to think when they see our beautiful and talented gymnasts sulking over silver medals? 

I mean really? 

Our baby girls are already bombarded by outside influences telling them from the earliest age that perfection is the only acceptable.  Acceptable what??

 Acceptable body, acceptable hair, nails, clothing and now gold for the athlete.  Pishaw!! 

Smile your little glorious behinds off for being an Olympian!! 

Good grief have we ever lost sight of the accomplishment because sponsorships, etc. are determined by all or none? 

I’m so stinking proud of every single American Athlete that has stepped totally out of their comfort zones for most of their young lives to go before the masses and lay it all on the line.   Win or not, they are Olympians! 

Shame on the all or none attitude surrounding those young people setting perfectionists goals and creating self-doubt and sulking over silver!

Have you heard all of the Brits singing their national anthem after each and every gold?  Not the athletes but the whole crowd!!

Hat Tip: selihpxe8

 

 

 

 

01
Aug
12

It Is Not About Them

In the world of weight-loss it’s easy to play the victim.  Blame all of our shortcomings and lack of results on our upbringing, our past relationships, our lack of relationships, our jobs, our family time, our lack of money, and the list could go on for a full paragragh.  In all honesty, it is not about them, it is about you.

You can make valiant attempts to make lasting change, but until you realize that you are ulitmately responsible for your food intake and moving your butt, you are playing victim.  Sure life will give us lemons on occasion and we’ve got two choices, sit and sour along with the juice or make some lemonade.

Today I was heading outside to work-out with a coworker.  As I turned the corner to go down to the locker room I glanced to the left and saw two gentlemen coming into the facility to enjoy lunch in our cafeteria. 

One was suffering from health related issues, I have no idea what, but he struggled to walk slowly with his friend supporting his arm on one side and walking with a cane in the other hand. 

I smiled and nodded as I usually do and as I continued on to the locker room I was overcome with gratitude.  Gratitude that the man had a friend to lean on and walk with and emmense gratitude that I am now healthy.

When I weighed 328# I used to see the obstacle of weight-loss as  chore.  I used to pout when I would have to eat a salad and someone around me would be eating crap, that whole “why me” thing. 

Over time (not overnight) I realized that I was starting to feel better, my clothes fit better and then it got easier.  My mind shifted from this is a chore to this is a choice.  That one little switch changed everything.  The sooner you acknowledge that you are willing to do whatever is takes willingly to succeed the easier this path will become.

Hat Tip: Elements of Your Life

 

27
Jul
12

Do You Have Commitment?

“Commitment is what transforms a promise in to reality.  Commitment is the words that speak boldly of your intentions and the actions which speak louder than words.  Commitment is making time when there is none.  Commitment is coming through time after time, year after year, after year.  Commitment is the stuff character is made of, the power to change the face of things.  Commitment is the triumph of integrity over skepticism.” ~unknown

I wish I could remember who wrote this so I could give them credit.  It has been hanging on my bulletin board in my office for years now.   I moved it higher so I could read it daily.  Do you have commitment to your health and fitness? 

25
Jul
12

Leaning on Accountability

Some of us require accountability.  Not someone to police us, but instead a person that knows our intent and that will call us out when we are not holding ourselves to the standard of which will take us closer to our goals.

I have a couple of these accountability buddies.  They know who they are.  

Recently I talked about a goal I had and made the comment to my friend “What if such and such is still there?”.   It took her all of 3.2 seconds to send me a response that simply said “Oh, I didn’t realize we were living in the world of “what if.”

I love her for it.  It was an eye opener of the underlying lack of belief I still carry in some areas.  That just means there is more work to be done on my personal belief system. 

I have another accountability buddy that shares daily meal structure along with pictures of her meals.   We strive for small balanced meals every 3 hours.   I’ve begun to do the same with her.  It keeps my meal plans fresh because I know she will call me out for not having a variety of fresh veggies. 

I also have hard-core friends that never ever need anyone to hold them accountable, they don’t judge me just as I don’t judge anyone else.  It’s not my place.  Weight loss and fitness are a process, that process is different for everyone.

I like having someone to lean on from time to time.  It makes leaning solely on myself much more doable. 

Want to eat cleaner and work harder?  Find someone that will call you out, even if it stings a little.  You’ll be better for it!

24
Jul
12

Community

I love it when I meet new people who are struggling.  This morning I saw a woman walk by my door and as I glanced up I noticed what a pretty dress she had on. 

A little later my boss pushes open my office door and there stands the woman in the pretty dress and she was saying “I knew she was the one!”   Hmmm…

Well, needless to say she wanted to talk workouts.  I love that.  I work for a company with over 1600 people.  When someone says “I knew she was the one” man that’ll make your day. 

Anyway, she was telling me about a recent weight gain, low iron and the fact that she’d been put on medication for it.  She is struggling with her mojo for sure.  Lack of energy, poor diet, etc.

As we talked, she mentioned knowing all about meal-timing etc., and that she wanted to get back in to shape.

My first comment was simply “get back to basics”.  You know about meal timing and working out so the only thing I see missing is community.  I asked her when the last time she hung out with like-minded people? 

It doesn’t matter what you do, whether it’s Zumba, Body Pump, Jazzercise, CrossFit or Running, remember to find like-minded people to do it with. 

Everyone struggles, everyone has an “off” day or even an off week.   Food may be spot on but workouts stink or just the opposite, workouts are great but food stinks. 

In a community though there will be days you will push, pull or drag each other along but that’s the point. 

Do it. 

It’s not always about YOU.  You soon realize that the greatest part of community is what you can offer to another person in the way of support.