Posts Tagged ‘Community



21
Jun
12

Community and Support

Community and support.  I had no idea what those two words really meant outside of community = neighborhood and support = a helping hand if needed.

Since I started my fitness journey, I’ve come to see both of those words in a completely different light.

Community now means a group of people who support each other in a common goal. 

That means the good, bad and the ugly too. 

There are some folks out there than can simply go it alone.   I’ve found that I am much better as part of a community.

Higher goals, higher level of accountability, higher levels of support, both give and take.

If you are just starting out, find a group to get involved with.  Whether its classes at your gym or online forums or joining a CrossFit box.   

Don’t expect everyone to coddle you, don’t expect everyone to check on you when you are down.  If you need support reach out instead of having a pity party. 

People cannot read your mind and know if you are having a lack of motivation, feelings of discontent or even a life crisis.  Your support group will rely on you to let them in on what’s happening.  And trust me, everyone eventually has a lack of motivation.

These two ladies are two of my dearest friends, they are from other states.  We’ve been a part of the same fitness support group for years.  We all met up in DC for the Marine Corps Marathon in 2011.  Here they are coming across the finish line. 

Community and support!  Get some!

 

19
Jun
12

The Thing

I read this today:

“Talking a lot about something that bothers you is a clear sign you’ve got something huge to learn, unrelated to “the thing.”  ~Mike Dooley

Seriously, over the past month my blog posts and conversations have been all over the board. 

After writing my post from yesterday the word truth stuck with me while I worked through my not so obvious thing.  

As of this morning I decided to re-label myself.  Up to now I’ve been a number of things.  An average mom with 3 little boys, morphed in to a morbidly obese single mom with 3 big boys, morphed into a before and after weight-loss success story, morphed into a masters level CrossFitter.

As of today, I am re-labeling myself a general bad-a$$.  How did I come to that conclusion?  Up to now I’ve blocked and tackled myself just before I reach that next step in getting better.   Notice I said blocked and tackled myself?  You see when you realize that you keep getting in your own way to success it’s now time for change.  Today, I’m throwing down the gauntlet for change.  The first thing that must change is how I see myself.  If I don’t see myself as a bad-a$$ then I will never be one. 

Raising the bar again, simply because I’m happier when I have to jump to touch a new goal.  

So what if I have to step up on a box to reach the bar from time to time?  So what if one of my friends has to say “here let me help you up”, so what if my son and his girlfriend have to count the last reps so I don’t have to think, I can just do. 

It’s all about getting better inside and out.   It’s about learning that it’s you that has to make the right decision for yourself.   No-one else can change you.  They can support you, train you, and listen to you, but you are the only person that can follow through.

 

18
Jun
12

Truth!

One thing is on my mind today.  That is truth.  Truth is what you do when no-one is watching, reading or listening.

I work myself up in to a tizzy sometimes over lack of results both with nutrition and workouts, when in truth I am not holding myself to the level of discipline needed to achieve those results.

Does that mean I’m a train wreck?  No, absolutely not.  It means perhaps that I’m being complacent.  It means I’m not focusing with intent to a specific goal and/or it means I’m not taking things to the next level.  I’m just hanging out in my current comfortable place.

Truth is that it’s time for me to get back to the task at hand with no excuses.  In reading “Switch” by Chip & Dan Heath, I find that little ah-ha moments come to light.  I had one of those this weekend.  The average person (myself included) wants an open-ended criteria when goal setting especially where diet and exercise are concerned. 

In example,  “I will work on running 4 miles without stopping” = open-ended instead of saying “I will run 3 days per week until I reach my goal of 4 miles in 3 months”.

Or “I will cut back on sugar” open-ended instead of saying “I will only consume natural sugars from fruit or honey”.

Truth is TRUTH. 

There is no way to know what I’m capable of until I make that goal black & white.  I’ve notoriously made my goals escapable.  Funny thing is that I am very successful at being an escape artist.  And that my dear friends will hold you back from your morphing efforts.

I like the freedom of truth.  I like the self-honesty of truth.  Truth keeps me on my toes.   Truth is success. 

I like knowing where I am and each time I take a look at the truth I grow exponentially.

08
Jun
12

Making Long Term Change

Over the last couple of days, I seen the reports of the 600# Virgin regaining 400# that he lost.  It’s been on my mind and I decided to write about when real long-term changes started happening for me and how they happened.

The mis-leading thing about all of these tv specials about weight-loss don’t really tell you about when everything is over.  I know I’ve seen one of the Biggest Loser’s, the pizza guy from up North gained all of his weight back.  

In a perfect world, every person could go to a fitness camp, have world-class trainers and chef’s preparing perfect food. 

But in reality we have lives that aren’t put on hold because we decide we want to get healthy.  It can be done but it won’t be without sacrifice. 

One of the hardest realizations I had to come to was that there were people who have always known me and they just weren’t willing to accept the person I was becoming. 

Whether they realize what they are doing or not, there will be the tempting lunch invitations, happy hour invites, your favorite cookies or candies showing up etc. 

It took awhile for me to realize that my change was making people around me uncomfortable.  Change is hard.  Not just for you, but for those who know the old you.  Some want to stay in the old comfortable place they’ve always been and they’d like to keep you there with them.

Change takes courage.  You don’t have to be mean or rude, just say “thanks for the invite, but I can’t make it”.  After the first decline it will get easier. 

You may lose a friend or two over it, but remember there ARE like-minded people out there who want to socialize with other fit people. 

One of my fondest memories was this past fall while watching a college championship game with a group of people who I had just met from a local gym.  Every single dish was healthy and tasted great!  I felt as if I were in a safety zone.

One of my clients is a young 24-year-old professional.  One of her greatest obstacles is hanging with her friends.  We plan her workouts and weekly nutrition goals around her social schedule so her free meals fall on the day of the event she has scheduled.  It allows her to enjoy life without feeling restricted.

Being fit isn’t about giving up everything you enjoy and feeling miserable.  It’s about having the courage to make the choices day in and day out to be better today than you were yesterday FOR YOURSELF not for anyone else.

07
Jun
12

Random Workout Thoughts

– You have to start somewhere.  If you haven’t been working out at all start by walking.  Go just one block.  Every single day add another block to the previous days total until you are up to 45 minutes.

– On the day you don’t want to workout, do it anyway.

– People in the gym really aren’t really looking at you.  Don’t be insecure.  You deserve to be there.

– If you don’t know what to do in the gym ask someone.  Don’t strike up a conversation, just ask for help.

– If you don’t want to ask someone, there are plenty of forums that have demo videos.  http://www.exrx.net/ is one of my favs.

– If you’re bored do something different.  There are plenty of parks and places to get in a body weight workout.

– Yes, you will get sore.  In some cases more sore than you imagined.  Especially after walking lunges.  Lunges bring a booty back though and are well worth holding on to the bathroom stall walls.

– Someone will always be stronger, bigger or faster than you.  Keep going.

– Never forget there is someone wishing they could be where you are today.   Someone who is physically incapable of moving due to injury or illness, you should do it simply because you can and they don’t have that luxury.

05
Jun
12

Change “IS” Hard

I talk to so many people about fitness, health and weight-loss.  Interestingly enough I have found that on average when the going gets tough, people literally stop as opposed to getting uncomfortable. 

It’s the rare occasion when someone will choose discomfort and success over the just giving up on themselves. 

The thing that I’ve found to be most common even with myself is I get to a crossroads and have to decide to get more uncomfortable.  I’ll ponder for a day or five about “what now?” and those moments usually come when I feel like my progress is stalled out.  I’m not talking about scale progress.  I’m talking about fitness progress of getting stronger or faster or it’s as simple as if my form has improved.   And of course the ultimate goal is always to remain injury free.

I came to this fitness game a little late, mainly because I spent 10 good years battling the shame and insecurity of being heavy.  Sure, I shed the weight consistently, but it took me a bit longer to shed the insecurity. 

A really good friend told me this morning that she had recently seen a young woman with a tattoo that read “I am the hero of this story, I don’t need to be saved”.   Every person should feel that way about themselves and be that confident in their own ability to take care of themselves. 

I believe that most people have the ability to choose whether they get fit or not.  And the average person sometimes needs a good nudge from someone who will be brutally honest with them to get them jump started.

All throughout the process I had to learn to stop taking things so personally all the time.   When you get really fat, you get really sensitive whether you willingly admit that or not. 

Sometimes that sensitivity can become a crutch and it will hold you back.  It takes courage to step back and ask yourself “I am being the best that I can be or am at a least headed in that direction?” from an objective stand point.

I do this on a regular basis now but in the beginning it took a couple of objective people to kick me in the pants.  One was an internet acquaintance that I met while doing multiple Body-for-Life Challenges.  He basically said “If you don’t like your results, what are you going to do about it?”.  

After I won the 2009 Body-for-Life challenge another friend took me to a track and showed me beyond doubt that I was a long, long way from my physical limits and potential.  Initially I took this process very personally because I was overly sensitive.  The fat chick in my head said “you have a ton more work to do so why don’t you just quit now?”  The fighter in me said “I will not quit, not now, not ever!” and off I went to get even better. 

And most recently was one of my very best friends Michelle (see the link to the right) said to me “what if this is as good as it gets for you?”  It was at that moment that I realized I was not where I wanted to be, but at some point in my life I will inevitably get that point. 

It was a great moment of realization.  Fitness doesn’t always have to get tougher and tougher, heavier and heavier or faster and faster.  Sometimes it just has to get healthier and healthier from the mind, not the food you eat, not the workouts you do but from the thoughts you think. 

Your actions are driven by your thoughts.  Be sure you’re thinking the positive thoughts that will take you to your goals.

01
Jun
12

Speed Bumps in The Road

Thank goodness for auto insurance!  Needless to say, the boy has learned a whole lot about responsibility from his decision to not notify the police of the accident. 

Note to all of my friends and anyone that I don’t know who is reading this blog:  I assumed my child understood that no matter what, when there is an accident he must report it to the police.  Don’t make the assumption that your kids know this. 

Explain to them that no matter what, it matters when it comes down to who pays the bill for repairs.  I’ve raised my kids with the understanding that in every situation they have choices and no matter what choice they make, they must be prepared to handle the consequences   The boy is better for the experience although his summer will be spent paying off the deductible debt he owes me.

I have been sitting here thinking about the rather crazy week I’ve had.  I’ve managed to get all but one of my workouts in.  I do intend to make up that workout at some point this weekend.  I usually take both days as active rest days.  I’m going to have some pull-up skill work and 10 x 100m sprints.   That ought to work me over pretty good and then I intend to stand-up paddle board if the mound of laundry will allow for it. 

My eats have been pretty close to 90% clean which I’m ok with.   I’ve run the gamut of the eat bad, feel bad, eat bad cycle and then transitioned over to the perfectionist cycle of 100% clean 100% of the time and plenty more phases smashed between the two extremes. 

These phases I now see very clearly and understand how they came about.  It has only been since I realized the difference between 90% and 100% is minimal in terms of my results that I’ve become more comfortable.  Now my body, mind and soul are a lot happier when I selectively choose my 10% meals.  

I do believe that 80% clean eats is a good solid goal for everyone.  I’m personally not as comfortable with that being my choice.  I prefer to keep a slightly tighter reign because I am more comfortable with that structure. 

For those struggling to find balance out there, it’s doable.  Just be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid to fall down from time to time.  Just don’t stay down because no-one will come along and pick you up.  You have to do that for yourself. 

Have a great weekend!

 

 

25
May
12

One of Those Moments

Rewind to yesterday.  I was driving home from the gym after my workout and noticed a large gentlemen slowly making his way down the walking path next to the road.  He wasn’t walking, he was doing his best to jog.   He’s heavy, really heavy. 

That little voice that gets me in trouble some times started whispering “pull over, pull over and tell him don’t quit!” but the rational side said “that man will think you’ve lost your mind” so I kept going.  But I never stopped thinking about that guy.  All day yesterday I thought about his red and black clothing and I remembered my first year in the gym.  I wanted to cheer for him.  I wanted to be his biggest fan yesterday.

This morning I was working out and I turned around and thought “OMG!!  That is the dude that was running down the street!!”.  He was there in the gym in the flesh.

I waited for him to finish his time on the elliptical and went over to him and asked if he was the guy going down the road and he said yes.   

I know he thought I was pretty close to crazy because my eyes filled up with tears and I just looked at him and told him a little bit of my story and I said “just don’t quit, no matter who or what interferes with what you are doing here today or any other day, just don’t give up because if I can do it, you can”. 

I left him to his workout and went on to finish mine.  He’s probably never going to set foot in that gym in the early morning again thinking that crazy woman might be there.  But I don’t think he’ll ever forget that. 

You know I think back on the people who have encouraged me and it humbles me every time I do.  People I have met either in the gym or online.  Many of the online friendships developed in to real life friendships.  Support groups, friends, mentors all in it to help one another along.  One of my friends said to me “Each one, Reach one”.  I know she will read this and I know she will know I’m talking about her.

Living fit daily can be challenging, but those challenges can be overcome.  Every single day I get up with the intention of being more fit today than I was yesterday, mentally, physically or emotionally in some way.   I’m not always perfect, but I am always consistent.  Consistency wins the race.  I’m living proof of that.