Archive for the 'Morphing of a Fit Woman' Category

28
Oct
14

Ride I did

I got up early this morning and started that head game smack talk again.  Got dressed, filled a bottle, got all reflected up and set out on my bike at just after 5:00am.  It’s amazing how peaceful things are before everyone gets up.  Was I nervous, heck yes. But I did it anyway.  I successfully rode in the dark, fully lit by street lamps, my light on the front of my bike and the red blinker on the back.  I had no problem seeing the road and somewhere along the way I realized this early morning riding is so doable.

After watching my father-in-law, a very active man, lose his battle with cancer in 9 very short weeks and the follow-up deterioration of my mother-in-law, one thing is certain. We are all going to go sooner or later.

I’m not going to sit around and get old doing nothing. I’m going to continue to lift heavy things, swim, bike, run and just about anything else I really want to do.  I may not do any of those things perfectly, but who really cares?  Who are the exercise police that are going to say “you’re doing it all wrong”? Who are the food police that are going to come in my house and say “You aren’t supposed to eat that”? Really?

I’m feeling a little rebellious this morning. 🙂

My you all be blessed with the courage to do what really moves your soul.

Be Awesome

 

27
Oct
14

Stop Thinking You’re Not Ready

The biggest thing that keeps us from moving forward is the simple thought of thinking we are not ready.  No-one ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity presents itself. Especially when the opportunity forces you to step out of your comfort zone and face your own insecurities.

The greatest opportunities in our lives usually require us to get out of the comfort zone. As a really good friend said early one morning “comfort is for couches” there is really something to that.  When you have doubt, sitting idle allows that doubt to grow larger and loom in front of you.

Change takes courage.  I’m not going to tell you it’s easy, but I will say it’s doable.  It’s doable if you take that first step and commit to yourself you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the goal.

Take for example my most recent goal of becoming a Triathlete by summer of next year. The first obstacle in my head wasn’t whether I could swim, bike, run. It was putting on a swimsuit and going to the local pool.  You see, having freed myself of the excess burden of carrying an additional 168# See Me Here there are things about my body that I’m overly sensitive about.  My legs are two of those things.

Initially my thinking was “how can I cover up my legs?” so I bought a tri-suit to swim in. If you’ve never seen one, they come halfway or more down the thighs. After wearing that a couple of times I realized I was being stupid for two reasons 1) A tri-suit is entirely too expensive to be swimming in on a regular basis because the chlorine will eat it up over a very short period of time and 2) No-one really gives a crap about my legs except me.

Yeah, that’s right.  Not the swim coach, not the lifeguards, not the others in the pool.  Everyone is too busy to give a flip about the appearance of my legs. So moving along.

My next paralyzing fear is riding my bike in the dark.  I have a bike light for both the front and back, I have a bright reflective vest, the only thing missing is my nerve. With the fall time change coming at the end of this week, it will be dark morning and evening.

I was talking to one of my friends from work and explained my nervousness.  He quickly and very directly said “How have you accomplished your CrossFit?”, you don’t talk yourself out of doing that.  Stop thinking. You just have to get out there and do it.

So much truth. So I’m pulling up my big girl pants and will make sure my batteries are charged on my big 1200 lumens Bright Eye light and get to riding tomorrow morning before the crack of dawn. Yes like 4:30am.  🙂

back in to safety

 

 

 

 

 

04
Jun
14

What’s In Your Head

A few months back I did a Guest Post over at 43 Fitness about the big M.  Having settled in to my 50’s I was very frank about how I felt about the changes to the body regarding menopause.  The things I’ve experienced and the things I haven’t experienced.

I’m back today to give more insight into my head space in case there are any other women who find themselves in a similar space.

As I progress through my 50’s there is one thing I didn’t really touch on in my guest blog. After having a discussion with a friend yesterday, I realized it was time to write about it.

The mindset of aging came out of nowhere for me.  I’ve always been a positive, age is mind over matter, it’s just a number, and so on.

Over the past several months (I wrote the guest blog in February) since my 51st birthday in March, the “old lady mindset” has tried its best to take over the power of positive thinking.

Mortality is real, keeping yourself healthy is real, and sinking all of your energy into worrying about something that is going to happen anyway is a big fat waste of time.

Yes, after my 51st birthday, I fell into this obnoxious habit of seeing only the aging in the mirror.  That my friends, is something you really want to prevent if you aren’t there yet.

It’s June now, so that means I have spent a full 3 months in the “Oh my it is happening to me” mode.  Looking in the mirror thinking thoughts like:

Is this appropriate for a 51 year old?  Dang that face powder sure does stick in those wrinkles.  Holy crap, is that a new wrinkle? Oh dear lord where did those lips I used to have go?

If you’ll notice, I never once thought about WHAT MY BODY CAN DO, I was focused solely on appearance and I began to become miserable.

Not going quite as hard in the gym, eating a little of this and a little of that processed, packaged food (which I am absolutely certain causes that middle-aged mid-section women whine about).

Mentally saying things like “I’m old, why bother.” “Am I getting too old to wear LuLuLemon?” “Should I be wearing 3/4 length sleeves all the time now instead of sleeveless?”  What a load of crap I was trying to convince myself of.

This past weekend was the second annual Beast of the Valley Competition.  I met so many new young women, beautifully spirited, strong, fit, and yet they were as down to earth as they could possibly be.  More than once I got the “I hope I’m still lifting when I’m 51” comment.  I digested the event through a different set of eyes this weekend.

Older and wiser eyes.

Yes, the time passes and we age, but we don’t have to give up what we love to do.

Instead we must absolutely focus on the positives that come along with training and stay far away from the wrinkles and the flaws.

We all have them, it’s just a matter of whether you will allow the aging process to steal your joy and zest for life, or you make a list of your positive attributes and keep moving forward.

There is absolutely nothing my body isn’t capable of doing, only my when my mind interferes does my progress falter.

Stay strong ladies!

BB FC 130 5-31-14 SP 115 5-31-14 SW HS 90 5-31-14

 

06
Jan
14

Another Round With Patience

Something clicked for me this morning and reminded me of a topic I wanted to talk about.  Long term weight loss comes with a price tag labeled with patience.  No matter how long I’ve been working out, I still mentally want more faster. I also know I’m not the only one.

There have been times when I trained with an almost frantic pace.  A pace no doubt, that would have surely have led to injury if I had stayed on that pace.

There have been times I’ve tightened up my food intake to unreasonable levels truly believing that less is more.  I was wrong.

The thing I’ve lacked the most in my journey has always been patience.  Patience to allow myself to get good at this whole fitness and nutrition thing.  Patience with my own expectation regarding my results.  This stuff doesn’t happen over night.

I consider those who get on the fitness band wagon without massive weight to lose to be a an advantage for a couple of reasons.  I might get a little hate mail for this, but I do.  To have the physique that doesn’t have the wear and tear of major weight loss is a gift that so many take for granted. Instead of worrying about losing all the time, you get to focus more on making positive gains.  It’s more of a one way street.

I screwed up, yes I did, for not taking responsibility sooner.  For not stopping that locomotive I was on.  That being said I wouldn’t be literally half the person I used to be if I hadn’t gone through what I’ve been through.  This my friends is where patience comes in to play.

Everyone I meet who wants to change, they want it over night, ok to be fair, they want it in a week or two, some even make it a month before they freak out because they are dramatically changed and still working their butts off.

They want change that takes years to happen in just a few months.  If they aren’t seeing change, they want to change this or that because what they are doing isn’t working fast enough.  I’ve derailed myself more times than I care to admit because I kept searching for the better, faster way of getting results.  The one thing that I only recently got better at was patience.

It was only when I stop waffling all over creation and starting focusing on what I was doing right and doing just enough more of it to make even better progress.

I wanted my shoulders to look better, it was only after I made the effort to add a bit more focused attention to my shoulders did they respond.  Does that mean I worked shoulders every other day, no.  I it means I worked them one extra workout per week.

I wanted to get leaner, does that mean I ate less?  No, actually I started tracking my caloric output vs. my input a little more thoroughly.  Does that mean I became obsessed about it?  No, I came to the realization that my oldest and by far my worst “dieter, less is more” habit was still alive an well.  It was only when I logged it and looked at it staring me back in the face that I knew I had to make some changes.  Small changes, like adding a more effective carb source post workout and adding a bit more fat during the rest of my meals.  I feel better, I can lift more.

Is what is working for me what you should be doing?  No, not necessarily.  Every human body is different.  If you aren’t writing down or logging what you are doing, how do you know if you are making positive or negative gains?  Well if negative your pants will be tighter.  If positive?  That’s a different story.  You’ll come to a point when you don’t want your pants to get smaller, but you want your body composition to change.  Without photos, measurements, workout, data, and a nutritional log, you’ve got very little to trouble shoot with.  Your first instincts are to eat less and work harder, when just the opposite is in order.

So before you go changing things, are you doing the logging, the information gathering that you need to identify change when it is happening?  If not, start there.  Patience, persistence, and consistency.  Keep moving forward!

journal leather

 

 

30
Dec
13

Letting Go of Insecurity

I could write a book on the topic of insecurity. My own personal insecurity would take up 2/3 of the book.  At one point in my life I took myself so seriously, I was absolutely ZERO fun to be around. Little did I know at the time no one really paid that much attention, except me.

I was somewhat insecure in my earlier years before I got fat (I can say that insensitive word, I don’t have to be politically correct when I’m talking about myself in my own blog).

Once I got so fat, I was conscious of things I’d never noticed before.  Looks from people, some I could tell were literally looks of disbelief.  Others, looks of pity.  The worst was the look a saw looking back in the mirror and that was disgust.  Harsh, but truth.  I thought surely when I lost all the weight, I’d lose the insecurity with it.  But not so fast.

For a long time after I lost my weight I had serious fears about suddenly waking up and being back in that 328# body again.  This fear spiraled out into my food consumption as well.  I feared if I took a vacation or went off my overly strict food plan that I would never be able to regroup.  For people who have lost a lot of weight this is a true insecurity.  It’s a true fear that must be worked through.  I’ve dubbed it “Fat Head Syndrome” the inability to see real, positive self-image after significant weight-loss.

As is with losing the weight, gaining trust in self is also a process that takes time. Learning to let go of mistakes, fear, and the seeking of perfection, are huge milestones in long term weight loss.

For a while I used positive affirmations to help me through.  Training my brain to realize that I’m an athlete, not a dieter was one of the biggest steps to overcoming the obstacle.  Then came the realization that micro-managing an overly strict food plan wasn’t necessary.  I began to come to terms with the fact that if I focused on eating unprocessed and whole foods, I didn’t have to stress so much about every little detail.  All that being said, I get why people do it.

The beautiful thing is watching a person literally come out of the cocoon when they realize they really are becoming more fit, both physically and mentally.  I can see the relief in the eyes of a client once they come to believe it’s physically impossible to gain all of the weight back overnight.  They realize they do indeed have the power to control their own outcomes.  As a Coach it’s one of my favorite moments.

Coaching a client on getting out of their own way is one of the toughest parts of coaching.  It takes time and patience and the occasional proverbial kick in the pants.  And that’s why I love Coaching.

I’ve always loved the image below, borrowed from the internet, I truly believe there is an athlete in most everyone.  But it’s the rare individual who has the courage to step out of the shadows and embrace the greatness we are each born with.

fit in fat

 

26
Dec
13

Surviving the Crash and Burn

Today is the day after Christmas.  Today is the day after a lot of folks crash and burn. Crash and burn=totally fall off track with fitness and nutrition and spend weeks trying to recover.

Here is a quick list of what to do to help you get back on track.

  • Throw out the crap, guilt free, ALL of it
  • Drink water like it’s your job, it will help you rehydrate and cleanse your system
  • Forgive yourself
  • Stop talking about how bad you feel and how bad you suck, so you crashed and burned, move on
  • Stop putting off today, the reckoning day, until Monday, or January 1st or whichever day you feel you need to prepare for, start today, right now
  • Get a clean meal in to your system
  • Get what you need to prepare more clean meals
  • Start a list of goals for 2014
  • Get thee to the gym and move something heavy quickly
  • Rinse and repeat

Remember there isn’t a final countdown of food consumption before starting some new fad diet on January 1st.  Get your head right, get your house, apartment, desk, etc., cleaned out and replace any crap with clean staples and get a move on.  Consistent clean meals will help boost your MOJO as much as a good solid workout will.

And remember this….

Before 10-2000

Didn’t turn into this….

IMG_3607

Because I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.  Now get on with it.

23
Dec
13

Support Networking

I started this blog a few days ago and set it aside.  After having conversations with a few people, I realized this was a topic really worth writing about.  Over the course of my journey, there has been one thing that stands out on the higher level of importance scale and that’s support networking.

What is support networking?  Anything/anyone that helps you stay the course long term.  Anything/anyone that helps you jump the next hurdle in your journey.  Anything/anyone that forces you to acknowledge when you are allowing fear to impede your progress.

Along the journey of long term weightloss, there are unexpected hurdles that most people don’t even realize they are tripping over.  It could be an internal fear of failure.  It could be an episode or two of yo-yo dieting, just when you think you’ve figured things out you slide backwards.  It could be the unrealized truth of giving power to food. Food has no power, unless you give it power.

Build a support network.  Find someone who has gone before you, someone that could be a year or so ahead of you along the journey.  Anyone worth their salt will be happy to help you.  I know I would.  Because if it were not for the people who politely but firmly pointed me in a direction, a direction that allowed me to get out of my own way, who knows where I might be?

Build yourself a network by starting with the person in the mirror.  Trusted friends, who want you to be successful may tell you something you don’t want to hear.  That usually means it’s exactly what you need to hear.  This person/people will listen to you and not criticize you, they will believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself.  Surround yourself with people who have similar goals.  People who want to take it to the next level.  Offer your own support to them.  You never know who wants to be where you are today. Start paying it forward and you’ll realize and respect how far you’ve already come and you’ll likely realize it’s not as hard as you are making it.

Me teaching a new found friend how to KB Swing several years back.  We are still close and support one another.  Everyone has set backs, everyone could use a hand.  A simple message of encouragement goes a very long way.

kb demo 10-8-2011

 

 

 

05
Dec
13

A Mental Flush

It has been way too long since I’ve written, which has been the trend of 2013.  Enough of that.

Since we last talked, I’ve had some progress photos made.  There are three things I’d like to discuss, if you would hang with me that would be great.

  • The BIG “50”
  • Body Image
  • Take the pictures

First the big fifty.  No, not reps, but years.  I turned 50 this year.  It’s nothing more than a number right?  Yes, right.  That being said, I wanted to celebrate the year in a couple of ways.  I wanted a birthday cake.  A big fat chocolate birthday cake.  Did I have it?  Yes, you bet I did.  I have had a small slice from the freezer each month since my birthday back in the spring.  Ironically, after seeing the progress pictures I’m posting in the blog, the remainder of that divine, sinfully rich, chocolate heaven went in the trash.

Our lives are so filled with other people’s idea of how we should be living. I decided long ago no-one knows me better than me so I would start living like me.  Authentically ME.  Some people don’t like it, but really I’m not so bad once you get past this gruff exterior.

Twenty. Thirty. Forty. Fifty. Celebrate. It.

On to body image.  When I first saw these pictures, the old me reared up and said “see, still not there yet”.  The bells went off in my brain as if I were standing in a cathedral.  What do I mean?  I mean I am reminded albeit none too gently either, that my body image insecurity still has a small headspace in my brain.  That being said, the strong headspace took over  less than 24 hours after the insecurity showed itself.  And even better, I acknowledged it, felt it, embraced it, and moved on.

My greatest wish for all women is that we stop comparing ourselves to magazine covers, billboard ads, and lastly, EACH OTHER.  Be who we are, individuals with uniqueness of body, mind, soul.  Learn to live in your own personal greatness.

Now we can talk about the pictures.  Pictures, for me, mark the seasons in my life.  I have photos of when I was younger and skinny as a rail.  I have photos of when I was a young mom that didn’t have a clue what I was doing.  I have photos that mark traumatic events in my life, my climb to obesity being the biggest one of those.  I have A LOT of fitness progress photos that tell a story of change. Every now and then those pictures remind me I need to get them put in to chronological order.  And now, I have photos marking my 50th year of my life.

Only a few people knew I was going to have these photos taken.  Ironically, my beautiful sister-in-law randomly posted on Facebook the very weekend I was having these photos made that she wished she had taken pictures 10 years ago. She had no idea I was taking these photos.  I simply replied to her post “take the pictures now”.  So many women shy away from marking significant moments because of aforementioned body image issues.

We sit around and think we’ve got to wait until we get it all together.

Guess what?  We never get it all together.  We can improve, we can get healthy, we can have careers, we can do anything we set our minds to, but there is absolutely no such thing as “getting it all together” so let that idea flush from your minds. BE who you want to be now! Mark it, celebrate it.

Embrace each day and love it with all of your being.  We live, we breath, it’s up to US make this life our own.

With that… I’m doing all that I can to embrace what I am doing to live!

i-8WSKTTb-M MMS i-rQf3vpK-M

i-tgw6j8r-XL

21
Oct
13

Letter To My Younger Self

If only I could have known then what I know now.

I’d start by telling myself at a very early age, it’s ok to be a Tom boy.  It’s ok to prefer pants over dresses.  No everyone seeks to be a girly girl.  Mud pies and Hot Wheels with my little brother were some of the best childhood memories.  So was jumping the ramp even after my dad told me not to.  And yes, it hurts just as bad when a little girl hits the bar as it does a boy.

As a gangly teenager, I’d tell myself that being popular isn’t really better, it’s just different and maybe even a little harder than blending in.

As a young mother, I’d tell myself it doesn’t matter how young or old you are, being a mom is the best and hardest job you’ll ever have so do the best you can and forgive yourself the rest.

As a young woman, I’d tell myself to love everything about yourself, cherish who you are and what you are becoming.  Don’t allow another human being to bring you down or steal your self-worth or self-confidence because they are on some type of power trip.  Your instincts are right.

I’d tell myself to go ahead and make some mistakes, take a risk, jump head first. Be who you are. Your quirks are yours and there is no one else like you.

I’d tell myself to love my body for all it’s capable of, care for it, nurture it, feed it good, clean, nutritious foods, and it’s ok to have a cupcake from time to time.

I’d tell  myself it’s a whole lot easier to take care of yourself than to let yourself go and then regroup and get fit later on.

I’d tell myself to be happy, embrace change for in change is growth.

I’d tell myself to nurture true friendships, because no matter who the love of your life is, you will need your girlfriends to nurture and to nurture you.  When the lines of time appear on your faces, laughter is indeed the best medicine.

Charlies Angels 10-24-09

 

02
Oct
13

It’s Been So Long

As I came to my blog to write a bit, I noticed my last blog post was July 1st.  Where did the months go?

I took a mini-hiatus from both blogging and social media to the greater degree.  I needed to get some things together on a personal level.  It’s been a very long and challenge work year, the company I work for during the day is in what I’d call a transition stage which means 100% of the focus must be on making things happen or you might be thrown out with the mop water.

I’ve missed the motivational part of blogging.  I had forgotten how much positive energy I’ve received from sharing the good, the bad, and the funny of a fitness lifestyle.

Don’t mistake the quiet for quitter or slacker or fallen of the wagon or one of 100 other descriptions other folks use to describe when they’ve totally imploded.  I’ve been far from all of that.   Working out is as much a part of my day as brushing my teeth, as is clean eating.  Did that happen overnight?  Heck no.  It took a very long time, but that doesn’t matter, if it hadn’t I wouldn’t be chatting with you all right now.

I’ve had all sorts of stuff pop up in an effort to derail my fitness progress and I’ve prevailed.  Has it always been the way I’d planned to get my workout in or where I’d planned to get my workout in?  Negative Ghost Rider, sometimes that planned pattern is full so you need to buzz the tower instead.

I feel like I’m rambling a little bit, partly because I didn’t sit down with a specific topic to share.  The biggest message I have to deliver today is simply hold on to your goals, even when times are tough.  The only thing certain in this life is change.  Roll with it, adapt to it, stay calm and carry on!

believe